Whether you suspect your child has autism or you’ve been living with the diagnosis for a long time, you know that your child is capable of amazing things. However, you also know that your child’s impacts and symptoms might require extra support to find their path to success. The symptoms of autism fall across a broad spectrum. Some kids need significant interventions for their whole life. Others have hidden talents and genius just waiting to shine through. And some kids fall somewhere in between those ranges. How can you set up your child with autism for success so their unique preciousness shines through?

5 Tips to Set Up Your Child with Autism for Success

1. Know the signs.

As with many childhood neurodiversities, the sooner your child gets a diagnosis, the sooner they can get the proper support from family and professionals. A precise diagnosis becomes especially critical if your child remains non-verbal past age 5.

What should parents look for?

Even though there are many variations, there are two core areas required for an autism diagnosis:

  1. difficulties with social communication
  2. restrictive or repetitive behavior

Although motor milestones may occur typically in infancy, your child might only exhibit limited eye contact and engage in less babbling than their peers. In a toddler or preschooler, you may notice language delays. Even if your child has a good vocabulary, they may lack the ability to connect socially with their peers. You might see them playing alone or gravitating toward adults more than typical for their age.

By school age, children with autism continue to struggle with social interactions. They also often show intense interest in some areas with little interest in others. These behaviors can substantially impact your child’s motivation to learn.

2. Support language development for your child with autism.

Language delays and challenges with communication with others are common issues for children on the autism spectrum. There are things you can do to improve your child’s skills:

Create opportunities for conversation based on your child’s interests.

For example, if your child has a preferred activity, such as going for car rides, you can narrate the experience each time you get in the car. Prompt your child to repeat your words, fill in the blanks, or tell you what comes next. Keep the narration consistent, short, and simple, like this: “Open the door.” “Buckle your seatbelt.” “Let’s go!”

Play naming games with them.

Try simple games like this one. Put several of your child’s favorite small objects in a bag. Pull them out individually and ask your child to identify each. Try other naming games like “I see a cow. What do you see?” Or “My shirt is blue. James’ shirt is ______.”

Teach them how to ask questions and respond.

Teaching your child the skill of asking questions and answering appropriately is crucial. They need the tools of back-and-forth communication to advocate for themselves, be safe, and connect socially. Again, make it into a game and repeat the process consistently to build their memory for the skills.

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3. Lean into their strengths.

Your child has unique strengths and interests. If you can identify them, you can unlock the keys that motivate your child to learn and find joy in their strengths.

Parents of younger children with autism can create opportunities for activities around their interests. Think about buying books and watching movies that feature those interests. Attend community events that spotlight someone with a strength or talent like your child’s. Exposure to what you think your child with autism enjoys can also be a bonding experience between you!

Older kids can join interest or hobby clubs at school, through the local library, or elsewhere in the community. Celebrate your child’s participation – not just their accomplishments. Be sure their educational team also knows your child’s strengths and interests.

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4. Use proven techniques.

The challenges of autism can lead to a frustrated and, at times, even aggressive child. Teach your child alternative, positive, replacement behaviors rather than punishing inappropriate behavior. Again, share your child’s triggers and what helps at home with their school professionals.

Re-direction

Be ready to re-direct the child when you see their frustration mounting. We realize this means you must be vigilant and close at hand, which can be exhausting! This preventative stance also requires some quick, creative thinking at the moment. You can always revisit the challenging behavior later and decide on other ways to manage it when calm. (Please remember to take care of yourself well so you have the reserves to be vigilant and responsive.)

Priming

Priming is a method of creating routine, familiarity, and preparedness with your child. When you prime your child for something new or unusual by engaging them in familiar and predictable interactions, you create a sense of comfort and consistency for the coming event.

For example, at bedtime tonight, you can read a story they will hear tomorrow at school. You can read the directions to a homework assignment when they get home from school and again when you sit down after dinner to help them with the work. Try having several casual conversations at the dinner table to lead up to something new that’s about to happen.

Peer mediation

Peer mediation can be a great tool to improve your child’s social skills. Whether with a playground partner, a study buddy, or a peer mentor, your child can observe and interact with another child you have prepared to model appropriate behavior and language. One added benefit to these peer interactions is the increased empathy your child’s peer will experience.

5. Get the school on your child’s team!

Your child’s teachers no doubt want what’s best for their students, but you may have to help them understand what that looks like for your child with autism. There are several helpful ways you can do that to get them on your child’s team:

• Share your child’s strengths, interests, and triggers with the teachers.
• Request that your child’s IEP or 504 include notes on their strengths and interests.
• Let them know what parenting and correction techniques you find successful at home.
• Tell them how you motivate your child to learn, for example, using child choice, natural reinforcers, task variation, building on strengths, or interspersing complex and easy tasks.
• Advocate for your child to be included with non-autistic children as much as possible.

A friendly teamwork attitude is the best way to work with your child’s teachers. Consider creating a “cheat sheet” of the ideas you discuss with them so they can regularly and easily refer to it.

There is Hope for Your Child’s Success

Having a diagnosis of autism for your child can be overwhelming, scary, and stressful. However, there is tremendous hope for your child with autism to experience success as they grow. The treatments and interventions for autism are improving rapidly. Resources for self-help and independent living among individuals with autism are growing. When you surround yourselves with the tools and techniques that draw out their strengths and help you manage the challenges, you and your child with autism can discover their unique path to success.

November is National Adoption Month. All kids deserve a safe, loving place to land. To learn more about the need for permanency through adoption, check out The Children’s Bureau National Adoption Month campaign.

Image Credits: Mikhail Nilov; RF._.studio; RDNE Stock project